It's like...

It's like...

After creating so much amazing results that for a moment, it feels like you've reached another realm of your evolution.

Then Wham! Bam! Boom! Rocks came tumbling down and rolling at high speed after you.

It's like...

After dodging one stone, the next rock, and the next boulder, you feel like giving up, but you tell yourself not to. After all, you didn't climb so high up the mountain just to give up, right?

I dunno when the "giving up" conversation start to kick in... but when it did...

It's like...

An overwhelming sense of resignation, and the previous accomplishments were humbled by the multiple aches and bruises from the rocks.

I looked up at the mountain. It's just one more lap. But i'm resting now, wondering where to summon more inner strength to surmount this last lap.

No, i'm lying when I said i was slacking. I just didn't know how else to climb up. I'm worn out.

I bitched, ranted, complained about the rocks. I tried to attract attention that I can't move on any longer. But I guessed b'cos I climbed so high up already and left almost everyone behind, that few can understand how I'm feeling right now. Or maybe people are too busy climbing that they also feel like ranting themselves. I doubt they even heard me.

Who else can I turn to except inside me?

I feel so discouraged.

I really wanna finish off this last lap. But I'm damn scared to move from my current position. I dunno whether to move my right arm 1st or my left.

I'm so scared that I might fall and sabotaged whatever effort i've put in so far.

Of 'cos, I could always justify that even if I fall, I still have the experience of completing 3/4 of the climb, and no one can take that experience from me.

DUH! Like that is good enough for me. Why would I want to start climbing if I don't climb up to the top?

So how?

Left or right arm? Left or right leg?

Sigh.