Monday, 24 March 2008

sigh... the day when i am not functional.

I hate knowing the consequence of not doing something and the chain of effects that is going to happen if i don't do it.

I hate the feeling of being inadequate when i chose to do it. Knowing that I can do something about it but knowing I am not good enough to deal with it while choosing to deal with it, is killing me.

I hate the feeling of choosing not to do something and watching the chain of effects taking place in front of me.

I hate the feeling of unable to express myself to show others what is it I am seeing so that they get it as well. And above all, make them stop misunderstanding me.

I hate the noises in my head trying to justify maybe it's an illusion and it's all ego talk. They are so noisy I can't locate where wisdom is and have a good conversation with her to find out what exactly is the problem.

I know wisdom has a solution for me. Just that the mind's too noisy for me to find her and talk to her. Hope she comes find me soon.


Dun just give me awareness and clarity.

Give me the wisdom and capacity to contain all these fu*king things, and transcend them.

No comments: