An overdue post

It was an act of courage for me when I decided to stand up for myself and seek the truth why...

A bus driver of TransIsland Bus #851 passed by my stop and refused to stop for me. I thought he meant it as the next bus was arriving soon. At 0012H, I knew I had missed the last bus at 0009H. THAT, was the last bus.

I could have taken a night rider. I could have taken a cab home. I could have stayed over at SMU to catch the 1st bus. I've got quite a few options... but I doubt I could ever be at peace with myself not knowing the truth.

After debating for 10 full minutes, I decided to seek the truth and went on an adventure. I flagged down a cab and told the driver to chase after the bus.

10 minutes later, we finally found the bus. I told the cab driver to drop me 3 bus stops ahead of THAT bus so I could wait for it. My cab driver just patiently wait there for me in case I needed to take his cab again. By the way, the cab fare cost me $10.20.

This time, the bus did stop for me. I sat on the bus debating if I should confront the driver in front of everyone or wait till it reaches the yishun bus interchange to speak to him privately.
By then, I couldn't trust my emotions. I decided I'd be nice and speak to him in private.

To my surprise, my curiosity in seeking for the truth was stronger than my sense of righteousness. I spoke to the driver (who was a china man) calmly. I found out that he thought it wasn't the right stop so he didn't stop the bus for me.

Guess what's the next thing I did? I whipped out the cab receipt and the bus driver willingly paid me $10.20.

I had to walk home after that because there was no more feeder bus home.

But I'm glad I pluck out the courage to seek the truth. Sometimes, things are not as bad as it seems. The question is - Do I have the courage to seek the truth?

M'sia Trip

I had an eventful Good friday's weekend.

Shopping Spree!

• Bought 2 sets of "The Jewel in the Palace" DVDs because they were on a great sale. Decided I wanna give them away as presents
• Bought 2 DVDs for myself
• Bought facial masks at a great bargain, after I had successfully negotiated with the staff to do a goods exchange for my cousin
• Bought 2 new designer's clothes after an afternoon of window shopping

I ate, ate and ate...

• Had a sumptuous dinner at a restaurant
• Had Bak Kut Teh for breakfast with my grandfather, bonded with him, and in the process, learnt something about my dad which I wasn't aware of
• Had the famous Melacca's chicken rice balls, which I had been craving them for years
• Had a waffle which I honestly feel it's much better than Prima Deli's
• Celebrated my grandfather's birthday. There was a buffet catering, but all I can recall is my red egg, which I had been craving for some time.
• Went night market and had curry fish balls, satay chicken and keropok (damn nice!)
• Had Bak Kut Teh for breakfast again with my relatives, but at a different stall

I charmed my relatives with my skill sets =P

• Taught my cousin how to do speed reading
  
• Taught another cousin how to watch out for timing to bet in Casino
• Taught 2 relatives a bit of memory skills. Felt like I was leading a preview on Power Memory Coaching Program =P
  

Exchanged news with my relatives

• Exchanged updates/ gossips with my relatives
  
• Yup, I got brainwashed by my cousin that I really should go K.L. despite what others claim that it is not safe
  

I paid respects to my ancestors

• Went tomb-cleaning and paid respects to my great grandparents and my grandmother

I realized that I could read people really well...

• Not that I can't already read people, but I realized how much I've grown when I started to feel all the pain spots and needs of each relative. It was both amazing and kinda spooky.

Caught up with my readings

• Managed to borrow a book on personality reading from my cousin, and completed reading it!
• Completed another 2 chapters of Dao De Ching. I somehow feel I'm taking forever to finish that book.

Had my 1st time...

• Quite an adventure to take a chartered bus alone for my 1st time... but I didn't like the experience of squeezing with people on the bus all the way from Larkin to JB custom, and JB custom to Singapore's custom!
• I bumped into a really nice Malay father and daughter at Larkin interchange who looked after my belongings and smiled at me when they left.
  

I had an eventful weekend. Now that I'm back, it's back to work again...

Try at least once in my lifetime...

Here's what I would love to try at least once in my lifetime. I want to...

1. Do dirt biking
2. Sit in a hot air balloon and sail across the seas and mountains
3. Trek in the desert
4. Do skateboarding and believing that i'm damn good at it
5. Dive in clear blue seas and make monkey faces to the fishes
6. Do water rafting
7. Do paragliding
8. Jet skiing
9. Bungee jumping
10. Sky diving
11. Explore an isolated/ forgotten island
12. Hike in the forest, get lost, but rescue without a scratch
    
13. Go on a snow expedition and take pictures with the polar bears
14. Stand at the top of the mountain with my loved one
15. Dress like young indiana jones and go trekking
16. Canoeing at some nice waters with no one but me and my partner
17. Be so awed by the mountains that I'm moved to tears
18. Ride motorcycle and take beautiful photos around the country side
19. Do rock climbing and be a national geographer for a day
20. Do sunbathing/ spiritual dance under the sun
21. Spiritual trip to San Diego
22. Dance in the middle of the street in Spain and people dance crazily with me, and we all had so much fun...

Here're the things I would love to do which are FREE...

I want to...

1. Be moved by a cup of coffee
2. Allow my smile to touch a total stranger; just like how my candy brighten the spirit of a lady during my FIM
3. My words of encouragement prevented someone from ending his life
4. My love inspires others to live the best they can each day and be a source of inspiration to others
5. While I'm dancing in the fountain again, adults drop their briefcase and join me in the water and play
6. Be a tourist in Singapore, armed with my camera and go around the place asking for directions. Connect to my country like it's my 1st time.
   
7. Heal a bitter soul with my warm tears and lovely smile
   
8. Be moved by my greatness every single day...

The Day When I've Too Many Plates to Spin

迷时望目标。卡时望起点。慢时加能量。乱时把心定。

A really weird day

Interesting

• The day before a friend called for some coaching because he was feeling overwhelmed. I shared with him a story on the "little monk and 10 rice sacks" to lift up his spirits. He shared with me over msn today that he shared the same story to 3 of his friends, and all of them gained clarity and realizations on their lives. That was like "wow".

• I bumped into a stranger in the lift. I said "hello, how was your day?". He replied, "I hope it's a great one so that we can close a $6M deal." I said gd luck to him. Twice. It felt nice to connect to a stranger just like that.

• I took a cab back to Great world city and had a gd chat with the cab driver. I usually don't. It was nice.

• I was the 1st one to reach office today.
  

BooBoos

• I took a cab to Neil road but forgot to get the receipt from the driver. I can't claim from company. =(

• When I reached office, I found out that I need to refund account dept a previous claim because I threw their petty cash voucher into the dustbin after I collected the money.

Seems like a day of interesting connection but a booboo day of losing petty cash.

Need to increase my awareness and empty my mind.

Let me see if I can self-coach and turn my fortune around.

Gd luck to me. Gd luck to me.

Theme For Year 2010

Summary of 2009

• Cleared a few bucket list items
1. Flew a kite
2. Skinny dipped
3. Bought a bouquet of flowers for myself
4. Reverse-bungeed

• Coaching & Leading experience
1. Hosted/ led at least 10 times.
2. Highest experience point gained last year was leading PCTP1 workshop with Lin
3. Stepped into my role as a C2 supervisor coach.
4. Stepped up as a C2 coordinator
5. Did private coaching for Sotheby

• Personal development
1. Read around 40 - 50 books

• Management experience
1. Managed 1 TCC preview (50% enrollment ratio)
2. 1 PCTP1 preview (30 guests, ~30% enrollment ratio)
3. 1 social event (30 new guests)
4. 1 PMCP workshop (13 participants, 2 signed up for advanced programs)
5. Wave 10 BLP (27 participants)
6. Experience Points gained was adopting new strategies in my enrollment plan for PCTP1 preview, and changed my style of management (to more empowering) for BLP.

• BLP Wave 8
1. I joined Wave 8 9-month basic leadership program. I was a strategist for the wave in semester 3, and I think I did a good job.
2. Managed to have a pri-sch friend to come back into my life. Now he is in wave 10.
3. Assistant Director for our wave 8's film
4. Communication trainer for wave 9 as my community service project

• Media exposure
1. Featured in Lian He Zao Bao for Linking Hearts Campaign on 9 August, 2009 http://linkinghearts.wordpress.com
2. Starred in Channel 8’s “我是不倒翁” aka “I will survive” reality TV show

• Family
1. Reassured my family of my responsibilities
2. Did an act of courage and told my grandfather that I love him

• Romance
1. Realized that my attractiveness/ attraction level has increased
2. Found someone that feels right

• Career
1. Left my business partnership and joined Wilmar International, in training phase as a Business Process Analyst. Still working there currently.

Overall, year 2009 has been a fruitful year for me. My theme for 2009 was “Self-love, Personal Results, and Family” and I’m glad there’re significant breakthroughs in each of the domain.

--

My Theme for year 2010: “Strategist, Personal Wealth Accumulation, Commander”

Qualities I need to hone:

• Charisma
• Precision in timing
• Leadership
• Attraction
• Self-Mastery
• More courage to step up
• Compassion
• Higher standards – be strict on demanding standards
• Grace
• Gracefulness in delivery
• Ability to express my clarity and cause paradigm shifts in others easily
• Etc

--

“要舍才能得，不舍就不得。”

Sometimes when we really want something badly, we got to ask ourselves, how much is it worth?

In chinese there's a saying, “要舍才能得，不舍就不得。”

It means, you need to let go in order for you to get/ receive. If you don't let go, then you can't get/ receive.

Makes me ponder, what is it I was not willing to let go of? What was it I was so attached to?

If I want it the way I want it badly enough, am I ready to lose everything as well?

I think I've reached a point where I'm not willing to settle down for anything less. So here goes...

ALL or NOTHING.

At this point, I had a realization - the thing I was not willing to let go of, was my sense of perfection.

WTF.

And that brings me to back to the starting point - "What should I do next?"

And then another realization came - maybe, I wasn't ready to let go of my indecisiveness.

WTF.

Alright, back to ALL or NOTHING again.

PS: I miss my clarity. I wish she can bring us out of this loop.